So I bit the bullet yesterday, I took the kids strawberry picking. I have been wanting to go for a few summers now, but we have been away during the season or life just got in the way. This year I was determined to go. I was worried about how well Nolan would do. I had visions of him running through the patch squashing all in his path, I was sure we would be asked to leave. Thankfully it was not that way at all. The boys were extremely helpful and had a lot of fun. We ended up with two pails full of strawberries - yummy! The best part was the boys were not fighting and were working together. I really got to enjoy them as they explored the strawberry patch searching for ripe fruit.
When we returned home, Ethan continued to be a big help. We washed the strawberries together then made strawberry jam with one pail. I did not fair so well during the jam making process. Or I should say my house did not fair so well...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to make flat top stoves and sell them to families were wrong! Okay so really it is our own fault for buying one...
I am not sure if anyone else out there who has or has had kids in the house finds this, but I am finding I am a rather distracted cook. I will be in the middle of making something and a kid will want or need something right at that moment and it pulls me away from what I am doing, I then forget where I am at and things burn or end up ruined or spill over. Which brings me back to my stove and making jam. I tried to set myself up for success, Sage was just fed and settled in the swing, Nolan was doing a craft that needs no Mommy support on the back deck, and Ethan was "helping". I thought I could make jam from start to finish in the time that I had, I even bought the liquid pectin to speed the process up...
My first mistake was making a double recipe in a pot that was too small - I forgot that the mixture froths when it boils. My second mistake was using a cast iron ceramic lined pot to cook the mixture in... I put the mixture in, set it on the stove and set the temperature so it would boil. Now my husband often teases me that I set everything to max and that things will eventually boil if set on a lower setting - however, I need things to boil this millennium, does he not understand that the kids have a finite attention span and waiting for it to boil on a low setting is too long! Sure enough as things normally go, all heck breaks loose and chaos erupts. I am trying to diffuse a fight, tantrum and settle a fussy baby and sure enough the mixture decides to boil... boil over... Turn the stove to Off, which makes no difference as I used the cast iron pot which retains its heat REALLY well! Grab the pot, drag it to the sink, sloshing sticky jam mixture everywhere. Meanwhile the mixture left on the stove is continuing to burn filling our house full of smoke.
You can now picture a 3 year old having a tantrum, a baby crying, jam spread everywhere and our fire alarm going off. By the way it was not one fire alarm, our entire alarm system was ringing. Add to that a 5 year old asking why the alarm was going - if it was a fire? etc... Then of course the phone then started ringing - the alarm company making sure it was just me making jam and not a real fire... Awesome!
I think I have finally cleaned up the mess I made from yesterday. The top of the stove looked awful with the burnt on sugar/strawberry mixture. I spent a good hour or two scrapping off charred goop, trying not to scratch the top of the stove. All I can say is never again will I buy a flat top stove - what a pain!!! Or maybe I should listen to my husbands advice and set everything to low heat to eventually boil...
This is my life! I look back and all I can do is laugh. The jam turned out fantastic - had some for breakfast this morning. Every time I eat some of the jam we made, I will think of the experiences we had in making it and it will always bring a smile to my face.
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Thursday, 28 July 2011
Boys...
So here I am, the boys are up, dressed and fed and why am I avoiding them? I have left them to their own devices of play while I drink my tea and share my morning using this blog. Okay, so let's be honest, I am running away from my children before I lose my mind at Nolan.
Nolan is our challenge. I love him to pieces, he is a bright, intelligent, funny, imaginative kid who really can be a lot of fun. BUT he can also be a lot of work. I am at a loss of how to parent him right now. I need better strategies with how to keep my patience and keep positive. Any help or suggestions are welcomed - actually this is a cry out for help - please!!
My first challenge with Nolan is to get him to keep his hands to himself. Fortunately right now the bulk of his punishment is taken out on Ethan or on Isaac or myself, but I am worried this will transfer to other kids. Nolan and Ethan will be playing or having fun and next thing I know he is pinching, scratching or grabbing Ethan. Sometimes I know it is out of frustration - he does not have the verbal skills to express what he wants. Sometimes he is trying to initiate play with Ethan and again does not use the verbal skills to express it. Other times it is completely random - those I refer to as drive by punishments; he will run by Ethan, grab or pinch him on the way.
We have tried the "stop start" method of trying to redirect Nolan to a new game. Stop pinching, play ... We have tried giving him the words for what he maybe trying to express - "Ethan do you want to play?" We have tried time-outs, big hugs, labelling the play as mean play. The bulk of my frustration is how often we are doing this and how some days it feels like I am always "on" Nolan's case regarding behaviour.
The next challenge we have with Nolan is his destructive play. Again I think a lot of this comes from his frustration of not being able to accurately express his emotions, but sometimes it seems like it is random or a punishment for his brother. Nolan will throw things - anything in his path when he is frustrated or angry. We again have been trying to label his emotions for him to help him be able to verbally express his feelings. We have also tried the time-outs, the stop start etc... The throwing when angry or frustrated is manageable, it is more the random destruction that I get frustrated with. An example is this morning Nolan and Ethan were playing nicely together. Nolan stopped playing went and did his own thing, then came back to the game and without any rhyme or reason completely attacked the game by kicking pieces all over the place.
How much of this is boy behaviour, how much of this is due to his own hearing/speech troubles? I know he is socially immature - but he is only 3, how much of this will disappear as he matures and becomes more verbal? We as parents are very cognisant of ensuring we give each kid lots of attention. We kid that Nolan needs one on one parenting, but really he does some days and most of those days we are able to give it to him. I am not convinced that this is due to lack of attention or activity. Some days we know it is because he is tired, hungry or bored. We know he is a physical kid who needs a lot of physical play - we meet those needs as a family.
I am just at a loss of how to stop the undesirable behaviour, or perhaps in need of some more redirection strategies. Maybe I just need to hear that others are going through this struggle too and know it will come to an end.
Nolan is our challenge. I love him to pieces, he is a bright, intelligent, funny, imaginative kid who really can be a lot of fun. BUT he can also be a lot of work. I am at a loss of how to parent him right now. I need better strategies with how to keep my patience and keep positive. Any help or suggestions are welcomed - actually this is a cry out for help - please!!
My first challenge with Nolan is to get him to keep his hands to himself. Fortunately right now the bulk of his punishment is taken out on Ethan or on Isaac or myself, but I am worried this will transfer to other kids. Nolan and Ethan will be playing or having fun and next thing I know he is pinching, scratching or grabbing Ethan. Sometimes I know it is out of frustration - he does not have the verbal skills to express what he wants. Sometimes he is trying to initiate play with Ethan and again does not use the verbal skills to express it. Other times it is completely random - those I refer to as drive by punishments; he will run by Ethan, grab or pinch him on the way.
We have tried the "stop start" method of trying to redirect Nolan to a new game. Stop pinching, play ... We have tried giving him the words for what he maybe trying to express - "Ethan do you want to play?" We have tried time-outs, big hugs, labelling the play as mean play. The bulk of my frustration is how often we are doing this and how some days it feels like I am always "on" Nolan's case regarding behaviour.
The next challenge we have with Nolan is his destructive play. Again I think a lot of this comes from his frustration of not being able to accurately express his emotions, but sometimes it seems like it is random or a punishment for his brother. Nolan will throw things - anything in his path when he is frustrated or angry. We again have been trying to label his emotions for him to help him be able to verbally express his feelings. We have also tried the time-outs, the stop start etc... The throwing when angry or frustrated is manageable, it is more the random destruction that I get frustrated with. An example is this morning Nolan and Ethan were playing nicely together. Nolan stopped playing went and did his own thing, then came back to the game and without any rhyme or reason completely attacked the game by kicking pieces all over the place.
How much of this is boy behaviour, how much of this is due to his own hearing/speech troubles? I know he is socially immature - but he is only 3, how much of this will disappear as he matures and becomes more verbal? We as parents are very cognisant of ensuring we give each kid lots of attention. We kid that Nolan needs one on one parenting, but really he does some days and most of those days we are able to give it to him. I am not convinced that this is due to lack of attention or activity. Some days we know it is because he is tired, hungry or bored. We know he is a physical kid who needs a lot of physical play - we meet those needs as a family.
I am just at a loss of how to stop the undesirable behaviour, or perhaps in need of some more redirection strategies. Maybe I just need to hear that others are going through this struggle too and know it will come to an end.
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Home for a brief moment
So we made it - all 4400km and several adventures later. We had a lot of fun as family and got to enjoy the company of good friends and relatives along the way.
During our trip, I was fortunate enough to meet up with family, some that I have not met with in quite some time - let's just say years otherwise we all feel old... It was such a fun experience. I met up with my aunt, who really has not changed all that much, and my cousin and her family. It was so great to meet this family as very quickly it seems that my cousin and I have similar parenting patterns. It offered a glimpse of what the future potentially could hold. It was almost like seeing a fortune teller. The best part about the visit was the reconnection of family. I am looking forward to future visits.
I have an update about my quest to ban corn from our house. When I wrote about corn and how much it was in our food, we were traveling in the United States. It was incredible how much they use corn syrup to sweeten their food. Anyways, when we returned to Canada, we noticed that it was not in food near as much as it is in the US. I still am reading labels of everything as I am finding it hidden in a number of different foods, generally in the form of starch. An example is peanut butter or yogurt - crazy I know - things I would not have thought would contain corn. Oh well, a little longer at the grocery store for the sake of better sleep and a happier baby is worth it! Not to mention the health benefits for the family.
So we are home enjoying the summer routine (?) of home. We are home though only for a short time, soon I take off with the kids back to see family in Ontario. I am nervous about the flight and a bit about the trip. I worry that Nolan will be tricky to handle that day/time at home. I worry that it will be exhausting for me with managing the kids.
It is funny, I thrive on being busy, I can live on a few hours of sleep and still perform well at my job. My job demands that I am capable of making critical decisions in a short period of time and to make the correct decision regardless of how tired I may be. But I feel like I fail when it comes to my own children or home life! I struggle with keeping it together when I am tired or overwhelmed. I feel like I am forgetting a ton of things every day and letting people down. Some days I feel like I can take on the world - the kids and I have a great day, everything (almost everything) goes smoothly, nutritious home cooked meals are served, the house is clean and laundry mountain is a molehill. Other days I struggle and I feel the kids are struggling too, they are fighting with each other - which in turn drives me around the bend and I feel like I am referring a WWF wrestling match. On those days NOTHING gets done, and meals....well they are nutritious but not ideal. I despise those days, I feel worn out and cranky when I go to bed on those days. I am forever trying to avoid those days and yet I know they are a natural part of life. May be this is why I feel like I would never make a good full-time stay at home mom.
Right now I am finding Nolan to be a big challenge. He is such a strong, spirited, funny and bright kid, but boy oh boy can he drive you crazy. It especially urks me when he plays "dumb" for attention or because he feels he can manipulate the situation to better suit his needs. Perhaps this bugs me the most as I am still sensitive about how his development is perceived, as I know this kid is anything but. A funny example of Nolan playing "dumb" was when we were at Whistler. The boys wanted to go on the go-cart ride, so we paid and each chose their vehicle. The girl operating the ride was a young, tall, Australian who was quite pretty. Anyways, she explained to the boys how to operate the go-cart, pull the lever for gas and steer. Well there was Nolan, pretending that he did not understand and he would not squeeze the lever. The girl then sat on the back and held Nolan's hand showing him how to operate the vehicle. Well Nolan turns and looks at me with this mischeivous glint and puts his hand down to his side. Sure enough the girl then drove Nolan around the track for the allotted time. At the end of the ride, the girl hopped off to help the other kids and Nolan quickly grabbed the wheel to try to get it to go. Such a turkey!
During our trip, I was fortunate enough to meet up with family, some that I have not met with in quite some time - let's just say years otherwise we all feel old... It was such a fun experience. I met up with my aunt, who really has not changed all that much, and my cousin and her family. It was so great to meet this family as very quickly it seems that my cousin and I have similar parenting patterns. It offered a glimpse of what the future potentially could hold. It was almost like seeing a fortune teller. The best part about the visit was the reconnection of family. I am looking forward to future visits.
I have an update about my quest to ban corn from our house. When I wrote about corn and how much it was in our food, we were traveling in the United States. It was incredible how much they use corn syrup to sweeten their food. Anyways, when we returned to Canada, we noticed that it was not in food near as much as it is in the US. I still am reading labels of everything as I am finding it hidden in a number of different foods, generally in the form of starch. An example is peanut butter or yogurt - crazy I know - things I would not have thought would contain corn. Oh well, a little longer at the grocery store for the sake of better sleep and a happier baby is worth it! Not to mention the health benefits for the family.
So we are home enjoying the summer routine (?) of home. We are home though only for a short time, soon I take off with the kids back to see family in Ontario. I am nervous about the flight and a bit about the trip. I worry that Nolan will be tricky to handle that day/time at home. I worry that it will be exhausting for me with managing the kids.
It is funny, I thrive on being busy, I can live on a few hours of sleep and still perform well at my job. My job demands that I am capable of making critical decisions in a short period of time and to make the correct decision regardless of how tired I may be. But I feel like I fail when it comes to my own children or home life! I struggle with keeping it together when I am tired or overwhelmed. I feel like I am forgetting a ton of things every day and letting people down. Some days I feel like I can take on the world - the kids and I have a great day, everything (almost everything) goes smoothly, nutritious home cooked meals are served, the house is clean and laundry mountain is a molehill. Other days I struggle and I feel the kids are struggling too, they are fighting with each other - which in turn drives me around the bend and I feel like I am referring a WWF wrestling match. On those days NOTHING gets done, and meals....well they are nutritious but not ideal. I despise those days, I feel worn out and cranky when I go to bed on those days. I am forever trying to avoid those days and yet I know they are a natural part of life. May be this is why I feel like I would never make a good full-time stay at home mom.
Right now I am finding Nolan to be a big challenge. He is such a strong, spirited, funny and bright kid, but boy oh boy can he drive you crazy. It especially urks me when he plays "dumb" for attention or because he feels he can manipulate the situation to better suit his needs. Perhaps this bugs me the most as I am still sensitive about how his development is perceived, as I know this kid is anything but. A funny example of Nolan playing "dumb" was when we were at Whistler. The boys wanted to go on the go-cart ride, so we paid and each chose their vehicle. The girl operating the ride was a young, tall, Australian who was quite pretty. Anyways, she explained to the boys how to operate the go-cart, pull the lever for gas and steer. Well there was Nolan, pretending that he did not understand and he would not squeeze the lever. The girl then sat on the back and held Nolan's hand showing him how to operate the vehicle. Well Nolan turns and looks at me with this mischeivous glint and puts his hand down to his side. Sure enough the girl then drove Nolan around the track for the allotted time. At the end of the ride, the girl hopped off to help the other kids and Nolan quickly grabbed the wheel to try to get it to go. Such a turkey!
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Diet changes
Since having to watch what I am eating because Sage is sensitive to corn and has been reacting, it has been a real eye opener for me. I used to think I was pretty savvy about what we ate as a family and tended to lean towards the more nutritious side of things. I am now seeing how bad the junk food or treats really are - thankfully we ate very few of them or sparingly but now I want to cut them out completely and find better alternatives.
I am starting a challenge for our family - no corn products. I will not cut out this grain fully, I will only allow it in the whole form and mixed with a balanced meal. So an example would be cereal, or corn on the cob as a side dish.
Why am I doing this you may ask. It is never a great idea to ban completely on food.
Well it has been proven that corn, although abundant, in third world countries when fed exclusively to a village, malnutrition still occurred. Corn has some nutritional value but is not complete.
My biggest concern is the use of corn to replace sugar. The corn syrup used as a sweetener rather than sugar is one of the main reasons for obesity and rise in diabetes. Corn syrup does not allow the body to realize it is full and then we eat and eat and eat.
It is incredible what contains corn syrup! All pop, chips, candy - yeah I know garbage food to begin with, but then you look at some breads, crackers, soups and you will be surprised.
So when we return from our holidays there will be a complete ban on any food the contains corn syrup or corn fillers.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Lessons learned
So far on our trip we have learned some very valuable lessons.
1. The black roads listed on a road map of Oregon mean really twisty turny roads.
2. Nolan is guaranteed to puke after a short drive on a twisty turny road.
3. Nolan is very good at puking - he did it sitting straight up covering only himself and his car seat.
4. Mommy and Daddy are very smart with always ensuring the kids seats are covered with some form of water proof device just in case of puke incidents.
5. "You can not have a war without two guns." In the case of our boys you can not have peace without two guns.
6. Our boys + ocean = zero dry clothing.
7. Crab, although fun to catch and tasty to eat, does not make for a restful night with a nursing baby.
8. Sage has a very sensitive digestive system. Corn products and now crab are off the menu for mommy for a bit.
9. Corn products are found in A LOT of food.
10. Laundry mats are actually kind of fun, it is incredible how many loads you can do at one time!
We are loving our vacation, it is a lot of fun with the kids. Such a beautiful part of the world hat offers so much fun for the kids.
Thursday, 7 July 2011
The start of my summer vacation
We have made it across two provinces, an international border, and now three states and are almost to the coast. The kids have all been great on this journey. We were fortunate to take an extra day in he Spokane area where we got to take in a beach and just general relaxing fun. A nice break from driving.
Sage is continuing to prove herself an easy baby, for which we are thankful! I am now 100% convinced she is showing a reaction to corn, so I am watching ingredients for any lurking corn. I do not have allergies and never had to scrutinize ingredients before, so I will admit I find this a bit tricky. If I do forget and eat something with corn, Sage sure lets me know! Then I feel bad because the poor girl is gassy and not comfortable. All I can say is there are A LOT of things made with corn in it!
We had the opportunity to stay at a friends house the first night into our journey. Their grandson was there that night; he is Ethan's age. It was a lot of fun watching the boys play together. They have met before a different times in their lives - it is neat to see them reconnecting that relationship. The little boy's parents are going through a tough time right now, they have decided to end their marriage. The impact of this is evident with the child. Fortunately he has our friends who love him and are helping him through this time. When we left both Isaac and I reflected on the visit and are grateful for our relationship and our family life together. It has to be a tough road to end a marriage, even harder when kids are involved.
Lately we have been working on the boys sorting out their own disputes (within reason). Our strategy has been to sit the boys down together in a spot, like a couch, then tell them that neither of them can leave until the other gives permission to. This means the boys have to cooperate in order for them to carry on playing. I am loving the results. Ethan right away gives Nolan permission to leave, Nolan on the other hand takes his time - I mean really take his time, one time it was a good 45mins! At the end the result has always been them playing together, compromising or creating a game they both can play. The other day at the beach the boys were struggling with both wanting to play with a specific water toy - instead the decided to play a game of tag using the water toy. For a good hour we sat and listened to giggles and friendly teasing and watched the boys expend some pent up energy.
Speaking of boys... What is it with their need to talk about poop, farting and bums?! It works great if the boys are cranky and I want to turn around their mood, I just have to make a fart sound and they are rolling with laughter. I just fail to understand the obsession with bodily functions. At our last rest stop while I was nursing Sage, Isaac was playing soccer/catch with the boys. Ethan had the ball and Isaac was taunting him to throw it at him, so Isaac turns his back to Ethan sticking his butt in the air. Ethan was laughing so hard he could not throw the ball! I can not nor should I fight it, just join in the "fun" and fart away!
Monday, 4 July 2011
Joy
Have you ever noticed how your mood can be instantly altered by the influence of a little kid? Hand a baby to an elderly woman whose husband is in the hospital diagnosed with a terminal illness and you will witness a transformation; that woman will leave strengthened ready to face what lies ahead even if only for a little while. The innocence or purity of a child who pulls you into their make-believe world allows you to abandon all worries about laundry, dishes, or whatever else plagues your mind. I think that this is the greatest gift of youth.
When do we lose this freedom? The ability to live life fully and to enjoy every moment by living in the moment. I love that my kids pull me back and make me stop and enjoy the now.
Recently I had the opportunity to witness them slowing life down for others. My husbands mother was visiting for a while. The boys not used to Grandma, nor having any understanding of what it means to be old, showed no mercy in their demands for the games they wanted her to play. At first Grandma was stand-offish not really too sure how to proceed, but eventually she was playing zapper dart games with the boys. It was great to see Grandma enjoying the boys for their energy, but even better that the boys will have that memory of her visit.
Prior to Grandma, we had both my sister and my husband's sister visit. Both Aunts played vigorously with the boys. The house was filled with giggles and the sounds of kids being chased. I have a strong suspicion that both Aunts went home and slept for a few days having expended about a years worth of energy.
My boys are rambunctious, energetic and love playing games that are physical. All in all typical boys. I am excited about our summer together. I am looking forward to the running and chasing, the bike rides, the playground climbing, chasing the surf, exploring of enchanted forests and not to mention the bonus weight loss that accompanies this much activity.
Sage will be there right in the middle of it all in a sling or carrier. She will get to experience and learn this is our family life from a young age. She will also continue to melt hearts, there is something magical about holding a young life in your arms. It is incredible to me the number of people who stop and greet Sage and those who desire to hold her. I am always inclined to share as I feel she is such a gift, but more so because I enjoy watching the joy it brings that person.
How lucky am I?
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