It has been a while since I have posted anything. It is not due to the lack of writing, but rather due to the lack of finishing what I have been writing. I have number of posts saved but have not felt that they were complete thoughts or musings and have abandoned them.
I feel restless today. I feel like there is about to be a change or a shift in our family and I am eagerly waiting to see what unfolds. I am a person who enjoys change. It brings new challenges and new perspectives, and allows me to grow further as a person.
It is funny, I used to seek out change in the form of moving; I call it itchy feet. I enjoyed moving to different communities, meeting new people and exploring the new surroundings. That all changed when we moved to our current town. I finally have found a place that I feel is home. The other day my husband returned home from a course he was teaching and told me that he was asked to apply to work there full-time. My heart sank... I do not want to move. I finally found a place to call home and do not feel the call or desire to leave. Especially now since the kids have started school. I know Isaac supports this, but on a level I also understand his desire to advance or move within his career. Isaac has said that this is the best place for us as a family, but I am wondering if perhaps he still has a bit of itchy feet...
So I know the change is not us moving, but I can feel that something is going to happen or shift within our family.
Perhaps it is the summer. The wrap-up of school, the end of soccer season and the impending holidays. I have decided to drive home to Ontario to see family. I am nervous about the trip but also excited about the adventure. This means that our summer is now pretty much "booked". I find myself wanting to cling to every moment and savour the time we will have together as a family. I am looking forward to the month we will take to explore the coast as a complete family. It will be great to reconnect with Isaac as life has been so hectic with his work lately.
I have been thinking a lot about family these days. It is incredible how quickly the kids are growing. I find myself wanting to drink in each moment of their lives as I feel that time is speeding by. Do you remember the long summer days you had as a kid? The summer months felt like the lasted forever. I remember wanting to get back to school as the summer felt so long. Did our parents feel that these months were too short like I do today? Does time speed up as you get older or is it the result of our fast forward society?
Ethan went on his first major field trip today. He went to the zoo in Edmonton. I felt nervous that it was such a distance away from me. I did not expect to feel that way, it took me by surprise. We want to raise our kids to have independence and to have them explore the world around them. I was surprised that I felt unsettled about him taking a trip an hour away from me.
Both Isaac and I are not keen on taking trips without our kids, Perhaps it would be different if we had family closer, but we both rather take a vacation as a whole family than the just the two of us. We have no troubles with going out and leaving the kids with a babysitter but not a great distance or overnight. I have troubles with taking a flight away from the kids. I admire those who can do it, but I know for myself I could never fully relax on a trip being so far away from the kids. I morbidly can not help but to think about what would happen if... Maybe it is because I lost a parent at a young age that I am so protective of the kids and want to keep them close.
The tricky balance of keeping your kids close but allowing independence and growth....
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