Sleep the five letter word!

Ahhhh... sleep...  These days I am in desperate need of it.  I have a baby who is going through a growth spurt, or teething or something, which means she has been quite fussy through the night.  I have been enjoying the cuddling and time together we have spent, but am very foggy the next day.  To add to the mix I have one son with a stuffy nose which means he does not sleep soundly and the other also going through a growth spurt, which means he wakes in the middle of the night announcing he has to pee or suffering from growing pains.

It is amazing how much of my thoughts these days are focused on sleep.  I catch myself daydreaming about the days end when I will be able to pull the covers up around me and sink into my pillows.  I find if I am stationary too long I am starting to list to the side or forward sinking into a cat nap.  If driving, I am needing to do anything to keep myself focused on what is around me.  My quest for sleep seems to be all consuming.

It is funny but the main source of any tension that will arise in our house involves sleep.  Arguments will start about who is getting more sleep or not enough.  Disagreements usually happen when one or both of us are tired.  We know to give the other more grace when that person is tired and to sidestep (if possible) any major issues until the other has had at least some more sleep. 

Don't get me wrong, Isaac is a full partner in our relationship and does his fair share of getting up with the kids in the middle of the night, of course this does not include the baby yet as she still only nurses, but Isaac has an amazing ability to sleep through sounds or fall back asleep instantly.  This is something I am not capable of - if a mouse were to fart in our house, it would wake me up.  I also have a horrible time of falling back to sleep if I am woken in the morning.  This translates to me not sleeping in very often and that tends to be a source of tension - or really me being frustrated but nothing that can change because of my own inability to block out the world.  In my Utopian world I would be blissfully in a comatose state when the kids would sneak into the room and whisper in Isaac's ear to wake-up.  Then Isaac would slide out of bed and float out of the room making not a sound.  Isaac then would create a sound proof bubble in which he would feed the kids and keep them entertained until I decided to roll out of bed.  Well that sound proof bubble has yet to be invented and our kids are anything but quiet in the morning, so I will continue to get up in the morning with the kids.

I will confess that I am that cranky bear if I have not had enough sleep.  I find myself not smiling as much at people I meet, or all together avoiding people.  I find my patience is limited, I am easily frustrated with the kids.  Internally I feel awful - this is not really me and boy what a bag was being!  I guess I would rather crawl under a rock but instead am being dragged forward by the movement of life.  It is a horrible feeling!

I remember a life time ago when I was a lot younger and pursuing a different vocation, I had taken a course that was physically and mentally intense.  Elements of the course involved functioning on very little sleep for days on end.  During that course about the second week into it, I found myself actually hallucinating due to sleep deprivation.  I saw a huge life sized mouse that was wearing a sombrero and poncho.  The scariest was when the mouse spoke to me, he said, "What are you doing here?  Go back to the south where it is safe?"  It is amazing, but now as a parent I know I am functioning on less sleep but function way better than I did in my early twenties. 

The biggest comfort is knowing that this stage in our lives will pass.  The kids will eventually sleep through the night, midnight wakings will be rare, then teen years will hit then it will be staying up to the middle of the night.  I keep joking with Isaac that when the kids no longer keep us awake or wake us up in the night, our bodies will be failing and we will be up anyways!

Frustrations of a Mom

It is one of those days. I feel the need to try and accomplish chores around the house that have been staring me in the face as I walk by, and haunting me as I escape in pursuit of other fun activities. I can no longer walk away.
Now I feel the push to finish these tasks. I have laundry piles to sort and fold, a trailer to prepare for winter and wash, a car to wash, a house to organize and clean, windows to wash, a garden to tend to, and fall chores to complete. In the midst of this I have kids vying for my attention and a baby needing to be fed every hour and half.
At first I was frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted. Instead I should be thankful I have these problems and this is the height of my "problems". There are others who have no home or are in jeopardy of losing it due to economic failure. Others who struggle with trying to get their kids attention.
So I should count myself fortunate and tackle the chores as I can. Find the time to balance time with kids, and getting things done.
I do have one question though, where do the Mom's whose houses are perfectly clean and organized find the time? What am I doing wrong?!

Time to train

I have to admit, I was feeling quite pleased with myself for finishing a triathlon recently. I will admit that I did not spend a lot of time on training as I found it hard to do between holidays and kids. I struggle with motivating myself to run at night after the kids are in bed. Often I feel pretty tired from the day and am ready to snuggle down for the night. But having completed that race, I am completely motivated to train to better my time.


I loved the feel of the race. Okay in this last race the water was really cold and for the first 100m or so I struggled with catching my breath and was panting trying to warm up! But I know I can swim the distance. I went to the pool later and was able to complete 750m without too much trouble. I was amazed at how well the bike went. Normally for me it is the worst event, this time it went well. I am thinking it was because I was not pulling a bike trailer full of kids!


I find the transition phase to be an adrenaline rush - get in, dress, grab your bike or dump your bike and off you go! Maybe it is my need for changing stimulus, but I enjoy the different sports married together. The best part about these races are the people. Everyone there is there to better their own time. This creates a really positive, encouraging environment. Everyone is cheering each other on, pushing each other to do their best.


Ethan did the kids triathlon the day before. He was fortunate enough to "compete" with a friend of his, making the experience that much more fun. Watching him run the race was a lot of fun. He chewed me out in the transition area for going too slow with helping him! After the race finished Ethan was excited to do another race and now has found a new love for swimming.


The best part about the kids race was the lack of parent attitude. You know the attitude - "My little Johnny is the best kid out there, yours can not possibly compete!" This attitude was instead replaced with "Great work kids!" "You can do it!" I loved that every parent was encouraging all the kids and not just their own. I loved the feeling in the crowd. I loved that everyone was there to help each other. At the end of the race when each kid crossed the finished line, they received their medal. It was a celebration of completion rather than who won. I really thought it was a great way to introduce the sport to kids in a positive fashion. It also modeled a different idea of teamwork even though it is an individual sport.


Next month Ethan starts hockey for the first time, he has that awkward birthday month - February. I hope that the experience for him will be positive. I hope that there will be minimal parent drama attached. Wouldn't it be great if at each practice and game all the parents stood on the side lines cheering on each kid, encouraging those who have trouble and supporting the idea of true teamwork? We will see how it turns out - I may be pleasantly surprised.


For us as a family we want each of our kids to learn the love of sport - both individual and team sports. We want them to live a healthy active lifestyle. We want them to learn how to work in a team environment and learn to work with different kinds of people. My hope with all of this is that most of these experiences are positive and the ones that are not, they have the strength to manage the situation.